I forget to remind myself that I am enough, no exceptions.
I can be my own worst enemy and have a knack for focusing on what I didn’t do, where I fell short, what areas I am weakest. I easily think that I am not enough. Sometimes it’s harder for me to look at the opposite: what I did do well, areas that I’m naturally talented at, other areas where I’ve improved over time.
When it comes to other people, it’s easier to be compassionate towards others and focus on their strengths and positive aspects. But for whatever reason, I can easily pick myself apart.
An exception is when I practice on the mat. When I step on the mat, I get tunnel vision where I focus on me, tuning out what other people are doing around me, scanning my body, observing where I am tense, observing my breath, observing the patterns of my thoughts without judgment. When I “can’t” do a pose that day, instead of beating myself up for not getting to the end result, I observe my internal dialogue. Some days, I tell myself, “I got this!” Other days, I’m thinking, “I don’t know about this… but let’s see what happens?” On some other days, I’m thinking, “I’m not quite there yet, but this is part of the process and I’ll improve as I build strength on areas where I need help.” The whole time, I’m approaching with a curious and playful perspective, open to laughing at myself when things don’t work out quite the way I hoped. I also avoid thinking “I can’t do it. I’m afraid of looking stupid.” And when I think I can’t do it or I’m afraid, I definitely take a closer look as to why with curiosity.
The real work of yoga happens when I apply what I do on the mat to my daily life. Man, on some days, I have a long way to go…